Think creatively to win.

Goodbye

2012-01-30T01:43:00.001+08:00

Singapore.

HA.

2012-01-10T02:36:00.000+08:00

Old songs are still the best, the most nostalgic.

The next time i shall listen to them and then write out a blog post. It gives me the inspiration and motivation to do so.

Heh.

I am fully convinced that:

2011-11-05T15:54:00.001+08:00

1. Sleep late = Wake up late.

2. I am screwed.

zzzz.

2011-11-01T00:45:00.001+08:00

Stress level: 101%

No, the worst part of it is it isn't due to work.

Power.

2011-10-13T00:35:00.000+08:00

Flipping the whole bed upside down.

How does that sound?

Only a girl could give me that power.

Banging head on wall.
Karating the laptop.
Making my own hands bleed.
and etc etc.
The list is endless.

But just one sincere word is enough to make me lose all the power to do the above.

oh well.

2011-10-02T01:38:00.000+08:00

At least I still have something to depend on.

I don't know if you think so

2011-09-17T16:06:00.001+08:00

But I think that it is totally stupid and meaningless and tell someone to say sorry to you.

Looks like i (usually) only post when it's sad eh.

2011-09-15T23:58:00.002+08:00

This time I am really sick.

Ahh what sickness?

Too many ways: - sick, - sick, sick of -, or just sick.
All the ways you can use the word sick. (besides being preverted i guess.)

I guess the problem is that I have been changing so fast that I can't even keep up with myself anymore, especially so this year.
I feel like I am losing touch with myself.
I feel like I don't know myself anymore.
I don't know what my purpose is, why I am doing certain things.
Then what give me the right to critque about other people?
I wonder.

That day I saw some friend posting a certain post on facebook.
I looked at it, and I realised that I have almost forgotten about it already.
I know I will never forget it, but it felt as if I don't need it anymore.

I STILL NEED IT.

These few days I feel that I have many things taken for granted, including myself. It was fun having to be able to do new things, get fun, and be able to change.
But probably it is just me (I don't know how many times I have said that in my life) but I know I am not perfect, nor anywhere near the "good" standard.
That's why I always change, at least always try to.
"You shouldn't regret if that's the path you have chosen."
I don't, but my environment, my friends around me make me think otherwise.
Changing itself is a path too, but now I am the one making myself think otherwise.

Sorry for being so ambiguous, but this post is afterall delicated mostly to myself anyway.

Being able to self-reflect is always a good thing. It is like a positive externality.
You reflect and become a better person and other people follow you and become a better person too.

Quarrels, are they really that bad? Not really.
What's most important is that both (for all) parties are able to reflect and understand what they have done wrong.
Usually both parties are wrong.

How many times have you seen in dramas that after a quarrel, the next day, one guy apologises and the other guy apologies too?
That's exactly what should happen, in the end the relationship becomes better and both of them become better too.

What if one guy apologises and the other doesn't? The other guy just accepts the apology and moves on.
I mean, technically there is nothing wrong (wrong is not that best word here but oh well). The first guy just wants the relationship to be mended right? It doesn't really matter who apologises and such and so long as they can talk again and be back to normal, it should be fine.
It should.

But it isn't, if you copy the above paragraph and paste 100 times.

Everyone isn't ideal, everyone has a limit.
That's always what I keep in mind and what I hope everyone can understand.
That's why I always try to cool anyone down before I have reached the person's limit.
Because when I do reach it, it is going to be damn hard to go back to normal anymore and I will regret it.
That is also why I always try to extend my limit when other people make me angry and such, because I know if they do hit my limit, they are going to regret it and it isn't doing any good for any of us either.
I wonder if people do take advantage of me because of that. (Some probably had.)

But hey, there is a limit to how much I can extend my limit too right?

That's also why sometimes I wonder if I should even extend my limit at all, because when other people hit my extended limit, the amount of regret caused is increased, the strain on the relationships is increased and probably there is going to be some long-termed effects and it will take a very very long time to get back to the "normal" relationships.

This is something I have been thinking ever since sec 1 or even before that, and I am still thinking about it.

Perhaps I can try to extend my limit less, but hey,

that itself is a change too right?

LOL

2011-07-23T18:40:00.001+08:00

it's time.

Ironically

2011-07-22T00:12:00.001+08:00

I think I am going to cry myself to sleep tonight.

Sometimes

2011-06-09T14:24:00.001+08:00

Sometimes it's just WTF.

haha.

2011-06-04T11:08:00.000+08:00

I have no energy to care about these things anymore, haha.

I pray everything will eventually go well, when this ends.

PLEASE.

Yeah.

2011-06-03T01:02:00.001+08:00

I don't care anymore already, TOO.

A stupid post, but I just wanted to say that

2011-01-14T21:14:00.001+08:00

I forgot to say, "Thank goodness I tried." :D

-

2010-12-30T15:54:00.002+08:00

~~WHY DO I BOTHER.~~

Edit: I shall give myself just another try.

Kage Futatsu

2010-12-15T21:55:00.000+08:00

ano hajimari no hi tsuyogatteta
osanai deai ni senobi wo shiteita
onaji kaze wo uke warai atta
aa, furikaereba natsukashii hibi
sono ashioto ga mimi ni nokoru
kimi no koe ha doko ni ite mo todoku hora
mou hitori janai kage futatsu
takaku tooku hibiku shirabe daiji ni daite
hagukunda omoi wo kotoba ni kae you
dokomade mo atatakana te wo tsunai de
kimi to no jikan
kizami tsudukeru
dokomade kita kato kimi ha kiita
tsukareta? to kikeba warai kubi wo furu
soshite mata aruku kata wo narabe
sou, me no mae ni ha ironaki daichi
jamasuru mono ha doko ni mo nai
ashi wo soroe mae he susumu mayowa zuni
tashikana kimochi kaze no naka
tojita hitomi ni KATACHI naki kimi wo kanjite
tomaranai omoi ga ashiato nokoshi
ima, koko ni futari no kiseki umareru
hagakunda omoi wo kotoba ni kaete
itsumade mo atatakana te wo tsunai de
kimi to no mirai
katari tsudukeru

I need...

2010-12-13T15:55:00.001+08:00

a break from life.

HOW

Can't you see it.

2010-12-09T00:15:00.000+08:00

And I totally don't like it.

This is so not me.

2010-12-02T00:39:00.000+08:00

Something weird has been going on.
I realised I wasn't the me I was supposed to be.
Now I complain
about the sad things or something worse that happened to me
when in the past
I wouldn't.

This just makes other people more sad and confused.
Which is so not my style.
And it feels like,
I am seeking attention.

I have to revert.
I have to.

I will rather smile myself to sleep, even though there may be tears in my eyes.

(Today we shall) Fill in the blanks.

2010-12-01T14:01:00.003+08:00

How many times must I __?
I am not a __.
Or perhaps I am __.
Still __.
__?
I __ this.
Can't you __?
I am __.
Like __.
):

you know

2010-11-27T11:21:00.000+08:00

i didn't know
what to comment
how to comment
what to reply
how to reply
whether to comment
whether to reply
and so on

because

我觉得我比较恐怖。

rare but still likely. i guess.

2010-11-27T11:19:00.002+08:00

yeah. 4441

hm

2010-11-25T22:36:00.002+08:00

what about 4432?

BOREDOM.

2010-11-25T19:19:00.001+08:00

I FEEL LIKE DYING.

you know.

2010-11-22T12:59:00.000+08:00

Besides having the real cure,

the only cure is that.

Because having that proves something.

tears.

2010-11-18T00:34:00.001+08:00

i wonder

2010-11-17T18:23:00.001+08:00

sometimes
i really wonder
if i am too harsh.

i mean i wonder if i said those words on impulse

or i really meant good

i don't really know it myself

sigh.

i feel bad sorry ):

my feeling is like the weather now

2010-11-14T12:50:00.000+08:00

although the sky itself looks peaceful

it's actually raining.

Admit it.

2010-11-13T16:12:00.003+08:00

You are just being selfish by saying all that.

oh

2010-11-11T22:02:00.002+08:00

the legendary 4-3-3-3

maybe it's time to do this again.

2010-11-11T21:15:00.000+08:00

no but the problem is,

i feel bad.

i feel bad when i feel tired talking to people

it makes it seem like i don't want to talk to them

no it isn't like that!

i just

don't feel like talking to anyone

which in itself totally sucks

because i want to talk to them

and i don't want them to think that i don't want to talk to them

it's just

ARGH.

That day,

2010-10-30T19:41:00.000+08:00

that day, just a week ago or so, while i was walking down the stairs in school,
i suddenly randomly thought of a random word.

Then I suddenly stunned.

Insecurity.

Yeah, I realise that probably explains almost everything I do.

From the time I was born.

"Insecurity is a feeling of general unease or nervousness that may be triggered by perceiving of oneself to be unloved, inadequate or worthless (whether in a rational or an irrational manner)."

It happens for my family, my friends and even MYSELF.

Basically everyone.

"Insecurity is defined as:

* Feeling of not being "good enough" to meet the challenge of a situation you face in life.
* Sense of helplessness in the face of problems, conflict or concerns.
* Belief that one is inadequate or incompetent to handle life's challenges.
* Fear of being discovered as inadequate, ill-fitted or unsuited to meet responsibilities at home, school or on the job.
* Sense of not fitting in, being "out of sync" with those in your peer group.
* Perception that life is unpredictable with most of the expectations you have to meet not clearly understood.
* Sense of always climbing up a mountain, never being able to reach the top.
* Sense of lacking support or reinforcement where you live, work or play.
* Results from a sense of being unaccepted, disapproved or rejected.
* Inner turmoil coming from a lack of direction or bewilderment as to where you are going, what your goals are and what responses are appropriate for events in life."

The emotional instability that comes with it, is unbearable.

What's next?

You get all tired and don't feel like doing anything, although you got so much things to do at the point of time.

Then?

You get freaking stressed.

...

I FEEL LIKE BLOWING UP BECAUSE OF PW.

I LOVE

2010-10-22T20:51:00.001+08:00

FRIDAY NIGHTS :D

Please.

2010-10-22T01:23:00.001+08:00

Feelings.
You can feel happy,
sad,
angry,
jealous,
bored,
disappointed,
nothing,
ans the list goes on and on.

But hey,
some feelings just don't go together.
Happy and sad?
I am happy and sad?
How can one be happy and sad at the same time?

Well, it IS possible in fact.
And the feeling(s) is(are) much WORSE than the individual ones.
It's like
you are feeling something at one point
and another at the same moment
and in other words you have no idea what you are feeling.

So okay,
please don't let me feel that,
because the feeling really sucks. ):

It was since some time since

2010-10-16T01:15:00.000+08:00

I had fun. :D

You are right.

2010-10-14T20:03:00.001+08:00

I am probably a beast.

I

2010-10-08T14:02:00.001+08:00

freaking don't believe what I did.

OMG.

I will probably explain more in detail after I have calmed down.

oh today was

2010-10-07T14:20:00.001+08:00

Hilarious.

Guess what.

I did try to kill the subject this morning.

BUT..,

I DIDN'T KNOW IF IT DIED O_O

Today I did a good thing.

2010-10-06T17:53:00.000+08:00

Okay not exactly that I did a good thing
but rather I did NOT do a bad thing.

I didn't kill the subject. (yay.)
I guess the subject I met today was too skillful for me to kill.

But,

I think no one killed it either.

Oh damn damn

2010-10-05T13:27:00.001+08:00

I did an even worse thing today.

I

didn't finish what I am supposed to do.

I didn't have enough time.
The cops came too fast!!
DAMN.

I JUST NEEDED 5 MORE MINUTES TO GIVE IT A PROPER BURIAL.

Today I became...

2010-10-04T13:31:00.001+08:00

a murderer.

I killed the GP subject just 2 hours ago (as in it died)
and I felt so guilty.

What's more?

I am tasked to kill 4 more in the next 4 days, one each day.

Damnn, I really hate to kill.
Oh well.

And time to start on the post-murder-action plan (PMAP) I devised yesterday.
I shall do up one for tomorrow later.

(10 hours of econs. let's go.)

this is why

2010-10-03T22:56:00.000+08:00

I don't feel like talking to you.

I mean,

hey seriously.

Or I hope I am just too tired.

Tomorrow?

2010-10-03T11:41:00.000+08:00

Yes, tomorrow.

Please,
give me the determination to see this through.
give me the hope I need.
give me the time to do everything.
and of course,
give me the results that I want.

Really,
I beg you.

Realisation

2010-10-02T01:04:00.000+08:00

I realised that I couldn't remember

because I had purposely excluded it

out of my mind, my memory.

Seven point nine one.

2010-09-26T12:15:00.000+08:00

SPNO

A temporary stop to everything.

This post will be about

Math Science and even GP PW and Econs.

Yep.

About the Percentage (done).

Will elaborate what is/isn't done next time.

PCMEGp(Pw):

P: 1/6*0.4 + 0*0.4 + 0*0.2 = 6.67% (3 s.f.)

C: 5/6*0.3 + 1/10*0.25 + 0*0.25 + 0.2 = 27.5% (3 s.f)

M: 0*0.1 + 0*0.3 + 1/100*0.4 + 0*0.2 = 0.400% (3 s.f.)

E: 0%

Gp: 1/2*0.1 + 0*0.02 + 0*0.2 + 0*0.2 + 0*0.2 = 5.00% (3 s.f.)

Pw: - (for now)

Total: (6.67+27.5+0.400+0+5.00)/5 = 7.91% (3 s.f.)

hmmm.

2010-09-23T21:44:00.002+08:00

hmmmm.

ignorance is bliss..?

must i

2010-09-22T22:47:00.002+08:00

must i

cry again?

What do you mean by,

2010-09-21T17:46:00.002+08:00

What do you mean by 920201042433.

Edit:

I am tired.
I am so tired of all of these.
I have no appetite.
Shall not have dinner today.

Edit2:

That was the funniest joke in my life, ever.

-

2010-09-19T23:35:00.003+08:00

Stop making me change this DAMN IT.

ISNTWU

2010-09-19T19:57:00.002+08:00

I
seriously
need
to
wake
up.

Long wind

2010-09-16T18:51:00.000+08:00

Today I got back my GP class test
an essay

I got 28/50.

Not very good, but thinking back of all the fail marks that i have gotten
i accepted it.

However, there was this certain comment on my paper
about me being too long-winded
and she said it in class too (as in not directed to me alone)

I know I may be long-winded,
but I just want to put my point across,
hopefully she can accept it.

A random thought.

2010-09-14T17:55:00.001+08:00

Just a random thought.

You see,
if you scroll all the way up this webpage...,

(bet you at least looked up)

you see two words.

SIMPLE LIFE.

Okay even this blog itself is trying to be ~~funny~~ idealistic?

Random or is it?

2010-09-13T21:58:00.003+08:00

Whew. Yesterday I finally managed to finish packing all my stuff.
Like..,
finally.

But that not the point,
unless you want to say I procrastinate or whatnot.
But well.

It was 3.30am in the morning.
Just before I went to bed,
something caught my eye.

Self-belief.
Determination.
Knowledge.
Expectation.
Faith.
Right attitude.
Self-esteem.

Suddenly I wonder,
WHERE HAVE THEY GONE TO.

It's the road to success?
Perhaps.
But hey, people like to do experiments to prove something right?
I have been experimenting for so many years,

(Tell me) Why is it trying to tell me otherwise.

Edit:
Today during PT session my CT wasn't there.
So the relief teacher wanted us to write some sort of a note or letter,
to our CT telling about ourselves and how are we now and etc. etc.

At first everyone is stuck, just stoning and looking at a blank piece of paper, not knowing what to write.
~~I told my childish friend to write, "Only the smart can see." and as expected, he wrote it and boasted it to everyone.~~

But after I started writing,
I realised I couldn't stop.
All the feelings, all the emotions came pouring out.
All the happiness, sadness, disappointment, worries and events and everything.
"It was so overwhelming."

Sigh. What is happening to me.

sleep

2010-09-06T03:24:00.002+08:00

it's 3.30am
and i am so sleepy now
but why ain't i sleeping
good question.

omg

2010-09-04T19:40:00.001+08:00

omg life.
you are such a freaking joke.
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Logic and fallacy.

2010-09-02T17:48:00.002+08:00

Hard work and determination will get you results?

That sounds like a freaking logical fallacy to me.

Idealistic Stories.

2010-08-24T22:49:00.002+08:00

Okay i don't really care when was the last post
Probably about 3 months ago or so
But i don't really care
Afterall i blog whenever i want isn't it.

Let's see.
Stories.

In your life you have probably heard of thousands of stories
Good ones, bad ones, sad ones WHATEVER.
But hey,
They are just too ideal.
Too ideal.

Stories are freaking idealistic
So idealistic until i kind of hate them.
You realise you can never get a life
Like a protagonist in the story that seems to succeed no matter what,
Well, eventually.
But no, you don't have such a life.

But neither do you have a life like some guy
Who fails no matter what he does
Just keep failing and failing.
There are always moments you are happy about
Moments you want them to be there forever
Moments that you feel that you are the luckiest person in the world.

So in other words,
Our lives are so average.
Way too average.

After i have blabbered so much,
I kind of forgot my main point (LOL).
But that's almost always the case when i start to blog.
Kind of sad but oh well,
I can only try to remember it while blogging.

Okay,
So we spent our lives trying to make our lives
Like that ideal life we all had in our minds.
You definitely have one, trust me.
Perhaps it's results, money, having a loving family,
Or just having someone that can understand you.
Perhaps that's all you need.

We always try to fight for this ideal life in our minds.
But why do we fight for it when it is non-existant?
Isn't it ideal?

Some people succeed to a certain extent,
but many people fail and end up hurting themselves more,
and keep trying and keep failing.
In the end, they keep asking themselves
WHY ME? WHY MUST IT BE ME?
You probably have asked yourself this question
Countless times.
Still,
why try and get hurt?
Because there is a chance you may succeed right?
You know you will be so happy if you succeed right?
Now here you are,
wondering why you wasted so much time trying to make yourself more depressed.
Try again? You may wonder.
Should you try again to waste more time and get more depressed.
Try try try and eventually you will succeed?
Yah right. That only happens in our idealistic stories.

So what do you do?
Stone and don't try?
Will you bear to let your dream life go?

If you do, you probably have depression.

doyouknowdoyouknowdoyouknowdoyouknowdoyouknow

2010-06-03T01:07:00.002+08:00

do you know
do you know
do you know
do you know
do you know

the feeling of don't know what to do at all?

do you know
do you know
do you know
do you know
DO YOU KNOW?

2010-05-11T00:51:00.001+08:00

Stay tuned.

relax

2010-03-25T00:01:00.002+08:00

relax buddy, relax (buddy is ME.)

brain dead

2010-03-20T00:32:00.003+08:00

it's 12.25am now and i am supposed to sleep like at least 1 hr ago

hc cup is over and YAY we didnt do so badly :D

next time if i really got time i will explain everything

now my hw is damn screwed

ok nvm

I just want to say,
"This is a damn weird feeling which I don't know what exactly I am feeling. This whole thing is just so confusing and I don't know how to respond when other people ask me about this. So ._. can. I just brush it off by changing to another topic but ... I still have this unknown feeling. What exactly am I feeling?! (This is asking myself, not you.) ARGH."

And btw don't ask for the context cos you aren't supposed to know anyway. You can only guess, but no answer is provided. Like duh.

Edit: This may really sound like that, but really, it isn't, it is something even more important...

2010-03-09T15:45:00.002+08:00

It all boils down to this very fact that:

I actually don't like myself.

sad?

2010-02-13T00:01:00.001+08:00

I think I am feeling damn sad now

not because we didn't win (but yes I am quite disappointed)

but more because that everything's really over
(orientation and stuff)

Somehow I am really feeling damn emo now.

Oh my god.

STILL TIRED

2010-02-06T22:37:00.003+08:00

went for IPST test today

was so tired in the morning

was so tired in the car to the place

was so tired in the bus back home

was so tired back at home

is so tired now

so sorry people

no energy to blog ):

but then

at least i will just write a quote + add some EPICWIN pics :)

(i wanted to do this long long ago)

Quote:
"As you watch each episode, the main cast is so well created that you'll forget they're just figures of fiction. You will treat them as real beings, sympathizing with one and perhaps disapproving another. Your own feelings will change as the characters change."

-Quoted from one random guy in some random forum

and it's damnnnnnn trueeeeeee

EPICWIN PIC ONE:

THIS IS SO DAMN COOL
AND IT ANSWERS THE QUESTION EXACTLY!
*stares in amazement*

EPICWIN PIC TWO:

For people who cant see this pic clearly
the letters that are circled in red are:

O U R T E A C H E R I S A B I T C H

THIS IS SO OMG CAN

if that isnt circled i think i will NEVER ever realise such a thing

the student who wrote this damn jian4 can

siao if i was the teacher
it will be like
i tio insulted and i dont even know anything
:O!

tired, yes really

2010-02-04T23:34:00.001+08:00

Sorry people

now i am too tired to do anything

i feel like going to BED NAO (11+ - considered early for me)

probably i will blog about today and tmr
on tmr or on saturday

yeah but

just some highlights for today...
(maybe i will go into more details on the next post)

WAR GAME WAS WIN (as in FTW)
REALLY WIN

ATHENA ROCKS <33

GIRLS CAN GET SUPER ROUGH AND VIOLENT
UNTIL OTHER PEOPLE GET STRETCHES + WOUNDS EVERYWHERE
+ SHIRT ALMOST TORN

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF BOYS UNITING

FEAR THE POWER OF GIRLS UNITING

SUPERSONIC WAVES STUN YOU FOR A DAMN LONG PERIOD OF TIME
(only applicable to boys)

I ACTUALLY MANAGED TO GET A DIRECT HIT ON ONE FAC SHIRT!!!!!!
(not going to say which XD)

ATHENA FACULTY DANCE 2010 IS DAMN COOL

1 HR TO PRACTISE FOR ONLY 30 SECONDS IS WTH?!

CT CLASS TODAY WAS SLIGHTLY BETTER BUT STILL DAMN DEAD ._.

APOLLO FAC DANCE IS o.O (no offence)

VIEW FROM TIAN TANG IS DAMN NICE (oops i think i said this before XD)

FIRST CT DINNER TODAY!!

CLASS FLAG IS QUITE WIN (:

ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA FOR CLASS PERFORMANCE YET ): ): ):

and lastly,...

I RECEIVED MY FIRST LETTER FROM MY ANGEL! (:
(not only that, the letter is like folded so nicely and the handwriting is so nice and the message is like so long!)

+

REALISED ANGEL-MORTAL GAME IS DAMN FUN :D

okay that's allll

look forward to more details in the next post! (:

and i hope
everything's gonna by okay tmr
and that my CT class can be more bonded
and that our class flag + performance will gonna be nice
and that i will not screw up so much in dances anymore
and that i will be more enthu
and that i can talk to more of my classmates
and that my classmates will talk more to me
and that tmr's campfire will gonna be fun
and that tmr i will not reach home very late
and that i will be able to get a very very very good sleep tmr LOL

See ya~

OG28 | 10S6C | ATHENA | HWA CHONG

A great thing off my mind

2010-02-04T01:19:00.001+08:00

hihi people

yeah i was pretty hell tired today
so grateful that i am able to reach home in the evening
slept right after a bath after reaching home

yup about today.....
it's CT session

uh..
not really very sure what to say but
i guess my class is quite average afterall
and today's Seniors meet Juniors session kinda boosted my spirit by quite alot (:
but omg
the transferring pokey sticks though mouth by mouth is .____________.

seriously
omg the feeling super wierd
it's like
your lips are going to touch
and your faces are so near
and you cant see his/her mouth
and you can only see his/her eyes
which has the same expression as you
and yet you are desperately trying to make sure you dont touch his/her mouth

it's SUPER WEIRD CAN!

yup so anyway
we played some random and really weird games
and THANKFULLY I DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THE FORFEITS

omg their forfeits are like

example

the girl lay on the ground
then the boy face the girl
and do push-ups

AHHHHHHHH

how they think of such weird and awkward stuff?!

oh ya
before that
we had this faculty introduction

ATHENAAAAAAAA!

they tried to introduce the FacCom
by like doing some things related to them
(eg. Activites I/Cs - Acting , Dance I/Cs - Dance)

yeah along the way they crack jokes and try to turn the atmosphere up

but then
sometimes their jokes were a bit cold XD

and

somehow
the J1s (including me) seems a bit dead
mostly due to POGS (post-OG syndrome)

and the whole thing is kinda rushed
cos tmr is war games alr
and on fri
we have to finish designing the class flag
+ a performance

WHERE GOT TIME??

i dont even know the people in my class well yet

but i hope tmr's war games gonna be FUN

and hope people wont gang us again

AND ATHENA SHALL WIN!

why?

cos we IMBA!

but

why we so IMBA?

cos we are ATHENA!! XD

haha the last thing is CCA exhibition

YEAH MAN

finally the WHOLE THING CAN BE PUT ASIDE AFTER TODAY

cos i guess i have decided what cca to join (:

INTERACT
+
CHESS/BRIDGE

XD

haha it's quite late now

so...

Just some food for thought

Person A: Are you seriously serious?
Person B: Nope, I am serious.

So is Person B serious?

(and yes, I thought of this when I am BATHING,
I do admit random stuff pops out of my head every now and then :O )

IT'S SO HARD TO LOSE

2010-02-02T23:57:00.001+08:00

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY

i shall skip the whole morning
(just that the "sexuality education" talk is some LAME SHIT/FEI/USELESS/FOR THE SAKE OF IT ONLY/WHATEVER WORDS YOU CAN THINK OF)
ya thats it

afternoon is WIN

i shall skip all SODACHE or other blabla stuff

just OG GAMES WET 2

6. "Table Soccer" game

only 1 thing to say
omg the referee kayu like siao
seriously

opponent fly the ball over
IN
then later the opponent goalkeeper HANDBALL
he say
I NEVER SEE
dam wtf leh
if you there surely u will like kaopei-ing
seriously seriously
(shall not talk too much)

but in the end we scored super fast
and from 0 - 2
we turned the score to 3 - 2 in like 1min +

SIAOSIAOSIAO (:

7. "Hai-dai + blow powder" game

our OG was damn high at that time
we like cheered all the way and went all the way in front to look at the people playing
i managed to win once
but when i blow
the wind change direction
and blow towards myself
so my whole face tio powder ._.
become white lol

BUT WE WERE OWNING ALL THE WAY
mostly all the ping pong balls all at the other side

thats why we SURE WON! (:

8. SLIPPERY SLOPE

best game man
when i on the slope
then i realise HOW HARD IT WAS
damn siao
like almost totally zero friction
i didnt make it ):
one pair did it though *claps*
yup
so we lost this round
but hey
WE WON THE BONUS POINT SO YEAH

9. Freeze and melt

haha
this one got tactic one lol
we freeze them then they freeze us
the details hard to say but
somehow
when its their turn to freeze us
we managed to draggg the time
and like save the waterbombs
and use them later in the game
AND POOF

WE WON AGAIN! (: (:

10. Big Volleyball

ya so
by the time we came to this station
its like really almost no time alr
so we managed to play a bit
then the OGL decided to make it a draw
ya we are pretty much happy anyway

Overall

after the 3rd and 2nd results were released
we were like so scared
that we didnt make it
(but in fact alr discussing what cheer we shld use oops!)
our OG really very ego sia XD

SO YES
OG 28
CHAMPIONS FOR OG GAMES 2010!!!!!!!!

THREE CHEERS FOR OG 28!! <333

so obviously we had our OG dinner (again)
yeah but we didnt go vivo cos our ogl a little sick D:
yup
took pictures
and i bought the I <3 HC shirt
(really looks quite cool)

but somehow i was blur again
and i actually didnt order my dinner omg
heng my ogls managed to buy some dinner for me
or else i would have been starving D:

anyway

(less of OG alr)
somewhere in between dismissal and dinner
we just chit chat and played some lame games

but somehow i was feeling very very down
after i saw my CT class
(Note: not becos of the CT class
AND not becos i have to leave my OG)
somehow
i just felt sad
i cant explain the reason
its like theres like no particular reason at all
and i am like going to meet my CT class tmr
and faculty
and then i will have to choose my CCA
and attend workshops
and study

i am so not sure
whether it was becos of all these or not

but putting that aside
i was relieved that my class got 13 boys and girls !!!
best
unlike most bio class
1 boy : 2 girls
or
others
3 boys : 1 girl

the latter is ._.
and the former will end up the girls going all by themselves lor lol

BUTBUTBUT
i looked thru the names
my 1st reaction is

"WTH/What the (whateverword)"
like a quarter or more students from PRC
seriously wth
i in chinese class is it?!

but of cos i was heng
cos the people inside mostly quite unheard of
so it means they not very guailan one

i really really really hope they are all nice and friendly
and can make friends with me and others easily the kind one :X
*cross fingers*

cos seriously
i will be spending 2 years +
the whole JC life with them leh
if i start to hate the class
i will start to hate going to sch
and will start to hate waking up
and will start to hate sleeping
and will start to hate myself
and will start to hate my life

the seniors they all say
HCJC very fun one
I REALLY HOPE SO
REALLY

so somehow i look forward to meet them
YET i dont really want to meet them
(maybe this is probably why i felt so sad and sian)

but well...
WHATEVER

I JUST HOPE I WILL BE ABLE TO SURVIVE.
THAT'S IT.

On another note
i guess i may be taking up the
INTERACT club afterall
MAYBE
after i cancelled all those ccas that i will never join

i will go check it out
what that club really does tmr

And yes,
it's 10S6C.

GOOD DAY

2010-02-02T01:11:00.001+08:00

"Good day!"
"Lucky day!"
"Good job!"
"Well done!"
"Nicely done!"
"High five!"
"So lucky man!"
"OG 28!!! <3"

basically the above describes today
today totally ROXLIKEHELL MAN (PUN INTENDED)

yes
as usual

morning is SIAN

and omgomg
my brick breaker game lasted until the second last level alr (level 59)
omg LEFT ONE LIFE
damn scared
dont dare continue lol AHH
/random

anyway
aside from all those boring talks
got 1 video on past (history) of HCJC

omg man
super touching sia
when u see those people cheering
when they won
when they lost
when they finished a play
when they had to "move house" (school)

siao la
they really made the video until so touching
of course i didn't cry
but i was looking around to see other people got cry anot (LOL)
but omg ya some girls really cried :'(

i guess that video somehow
bonded the whole cohord more lor
when they see the intense school spirit

super zai video (*claps*)

well then....
blabla break blabla

then it's
ORIENTATION DAY THREE!!

at the start
everyone's mood quite low lol (at least my OG's)

they started off with SODACHE (songs)

omg sia

WHY HCJC SONGS THE KEY SO HIGH ONE
WHY WHY WHY
(besides the last song taught to us)

but i thought the english school song was pretty interesting though

anyway
MAIN HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY:
OG GAMES (WET)

there were 5 games again as usual

1. Eagle Chicken Egg

something like that
damn lol lor
and till now i still dont get why egg wins eagle
(and it cost me a life in the game cos i got confused ._____.)
but overall it was quite fun
cos everytime once we do the actions
everyone will start running and screamming LOL (auto reaction?)
it was a draw for the 1st 2 games but we pwned the last game
5 (us) V 0 (them) [only 5 were selected]

HIP HIP HOORAY

2. Tabletop soap hockey? (Edit: Soapy Hockey)

this one nothing much to say
just zam the soap
until the soap fly
you win
(that's how i lost btw D:)

but who cares
we pwned the opponent by like 5 pts or more anyway (:

YAY

3. Pipe game

this one really need teamwork la
the girls from my og were supposed to cover the holes
then the boys go carry + pour water
feel damn sad for the girls lah
they become so wet while i still so dry
(but i still got splashed intentionally in the end ._.)

and yes of course
WE WON

4. Waterbomb batter(?) station (Edit: Waterbomb Baseball)

this is the 1st real station
that i got really wet lol
what do you expected from waterbomb games
my whole specs + shirt was like filled with water
its like one moment you saw the waterbomb flying towards you
and the next moment you see NOTHING (specs wet)

but this game the whole og gotta thank our batter man
i think she was from softball or something like that
won 6 pts for us!!
the opponent only had 2 points!

DO THE MATH =P

5. SOAPY BENCH + scissors-paper-stone (Edit: Swoosh!)

omg wth man
the OGLs meng pour soapy water .___.
after that whole game
i like can slide on the floor on the pants alr
but this game we really very lucky
the scores were very very very close
but we managed to drag the score until timeout
5 (us) to 4!
WIN AGAIN (:

siao la
omg what just happened?
WE WON ALL THE GAMES FOR TODAY?!
*inserts whole who's gonna win cheer*

6. Slippery slope (not played yet)

wah heng sia
we going to play this only tmr
cos i dont want my whole body + shirt + pants + inside(yes) to be wet lor
and nvr bring *ahem* to change
but i look at the other OG play ah
wah siao
they like trying to meng climb
but then in the end slide down lol
so fun to see them lol
omg it must look very dumb to do it

(but at least i think it shld be fun hahaha)

yup
thats concludes the og games for today
and the last item is SODACHE

dance is ._______________________.

NO FREAKING FREAKING SPACE
DO WHAT ~~SHIT~~

i can barely catch up with the OGLs
+ no space
= STONE

sian quite suck sia
for the dance today ._.
but i did manage to learn a bit more steps
(just that practical was fail lol :X)

then a bit of cheers then dismiss!

OG 28 OUTING AGAIN
after they decide and decide

decided to go PLAZA SING
and guess what?

we go there eat food court LOL
a bit lame lor
but nvm la
can chit chat can le

but yay today was more of inter-OG bonding alr
everyone talking and crapping to one another
(unlike the usual girl-girl/boy-boy talk)
initiated by OGLs haha

but i was so amazingly amazed by how much information girls can really obtained you know
very very small things from our sch
can travel to nygh
or even schools further away
omg
crazy sia (not that it's bad)

not going into so much details over here
just that after that when we going home
i went a bit blur
and ended up wasting a bit of everyone's time

So sorry! ):

Looking forward to tmr's OG games + OUTING TO VIVO
But dreading the end of tmr
no more OG ): ): ):

OG 28 FTW! (:

(Posted on 1st Feb midnight - so ignore the date)

Anyway...
before i end, i would like to say that

I don't know how people or websites can predict or determine or find out your behaviour or your reactions to certain situations or your personality and how you do certain things SO ACCURATELY.

ISFJ
"Although quiet, they are people-oriented and very observant. Not only do they remember details about others, but they observe and respect others' feelings."

Routine

2010-01-31T23:44:00.000+08:00

Yes

today is just like another usual day .________________.

seriously hate it man

I HATE ROUTINES.

but today i tried to make today of a less routine (that itself has become a routine lol ._.)

played basketball in the afternoon/evening
but this brings me to another thing

omg
am i like that tanned? O:
if u compare me to when i am like primary sch

i am like less tanned lol

omg this sucks
being tanned doesnt suck for boys
but if ppl start saying that of you, you will be like .___________.

nvm anyway..

mass dance is cool!
not that i am so into dance but
if like hundreds of ppl doing the same dance
and synchro-ing

wouldnt that look SUPER NICE AND ZAI?

same thing applies to drills and other performances mah

checked out the dances on youtube lol
"I've set my mind on you" seems okay
but "Tik tok" is zomgwtfbbq-ly HARD

but the song ROX (:

yeah what else

listened to random songs
visited random pages
thats it lor
usual things are done on usual days anyway

which is sian

but tmr gonna be wet games!
omgomg
i dont know what will happen during slippery slope lor D:
and besides
tmr's 1st half will be sian again

nvm

hope tmr will be another fun day! (:

OG 28 <3 <3

"I AM BACK, HUMAN"

2010-01-30T22:39:00.013+08:00

haha i am back people!

here i have to explain a bit

if you see the previous posts
i went to HK
and wanted to blog about it

yes i wanted and really TRIED

guess what

i wrote alot alot on the blogger site
so much so much
until i took like 3 hrs to finish just 1 day (out of 4)

i was like omg so late alr

so i draft it and sleep.

next day i tried to continue

but then my procrastination mind overtook me
so i tot of finishing it the next day
and the next day
and the next day
and the next day
it obviously wasnt touched (as usual)

and yes

it is still now in my drafts

but i guess

FORGET IT LAH

cos i probably know i will never finish it anyway

besides there wasnt much for me to see in disneyland anyway
the trip isnt like exactly for me
so who cares

so now....

there are definitely some things i have to blog about

1. Holidays till before IP activites

Basically wasting time.

let's see what i did....

SLACK (duh.)
help out in THIMUN SINGAPORE (yes being THIMUN admin ROCKS ROCKS)
watch random anime and online manga (some are basically to pass time only but some of the animes really are touching and some are really funny)
learnt SUPER DUPER HYPER MEGA ULTRA BASIC conversational japanese lol
(japanese seriously damn hard lah, i look at the grammar rules i practically fainted)
TRIED to memorise hiragana (forget it, take it that i didn't said this thing)
BASKETBALL (my skills improved lol :D but there is still like a LONG LONG WAY TO GO)
wake up, eat, breathe, sleep.
AND
almost died of boredom and a routinised lifestyle (yes i can get really crazy because of this)

That's seriously about all lor, really nothing much to do.

2. IP activites week(s)

One word.
FEI.
(besides the 2 super hard english diagnostic tests)
english compo on the 1st period of the 1st day of school is siao can
i was so grateful i managed to finish it really
of course, my handwriting sucked ._.

3. Orientation Day One!

Before 2, everything basically sucked D:
i like knew everything alr
they just repeat and repeat and repeat the same things
i just played Brick Breaker on the phone (lol) or spaced out
other hc ppl played Bridge blatantly omg
no teachers to catch them lor

somewhere in between high sch ppl got stayed back for scoldings .__.
yes yes keep up the reputation of the school
blah blah
but he does have a point though (i think after that everyone somehow did try to give a good image. afterall, WE REALISE WE WEREN'T IN HIGH SCHOOL ANYMORE)

2.30
we were splited into OGs
OG 28!
sheng hong is inside my OG
but i wasn't sure how to face my OG lol
cos b4 that day
i realise janice and jolene are also in my OG (they were my pri classmates)

SUPER DUPER HYPER MEGA ULTRA COINCIDENTAL LOR
they were like the only 2 that came into hc that came from my pri sch (besides hci and nygh de)
and they landed into my OG
thankfully after the whole day i realise they didnt really change much so we can talk normally thank god (:

icebreakers were quite standard though
but at least through that i realise my OG members werent guai lan
all very friendly de (: (:

SODACHE (Songs, Dance, Cheers) was the next and last item of the day
dance was cancelled due to time constrain

just learnt some new songs and cheered the same cheers
yes everyone was introduced to SELFFAR LOL

Best interesting of the day:
took 66 with janice and jolene back home
and guess what

guo chen and shi ya were also on the same bus omgomgomg
it was like a mini class gathering alr lol

4. Orientation Day Two

yes

DAY TWO FTW

the first thing was principal (dr hon) 's talk + dialogue
it's the same thing since sec 1
but this time there were girls
+ the floor population X3

The usual
"That's your opinion" +1

Everyone high school boy like waiting for that phrase alr xD

then blah blah

then school tour

haha didn't realise JC side got so many hiddenly paths and places also
and from tian1 tang2 THE VIEW FTW

after that was break then discipline talk

sian BRIDGE IS BANNED (lol i expected it lol)
regretted not fully using the time b4 that day to play bridge
now cant liao :(

then break

at 1pm

YES ORIENTATION

OG GAMES +10000000000
it was super super super FUN!

we won 3 out of 5 games
and won like ALL bonus points!!
omg

OG 28 FOR THE WIN

we cheered until my voice like no more alr but at least it was worth it (:

BUT LETTING A GIRL SIT ON YOUR ARMS IS SERIOUSLY TIRING

then the same last item is SODACHE!

yes

THERE WAS DANCE

last year i alr checked out the mass faculty dances on youtube alr
it was like ZAI ZAI AND ZAI

finally i got to try it

but yes
got skinship de

my dance partner and i both 1st time lol
but at least she was also quite enthu (i think)

but still we both (as well as everyone) screwed up lol
but nvm

JIAYOU NEXT TIME! (:

then we sang some songs and everyone was like so high
the whole atmosphere was so so high
i was also high-ed lol xD

after the whole thing

IT'S OG DINNER

after many many changes

we decided to go BTP

to eat pizza hut

and because of janice's debating skills
we got a free 10% discount!!
thanks janice!

i managed to eat only the plate of pasta only
was alr full after all that i have eaten in the day

during the whole time
is talk crap and talk crap and share stories

i stayed back a while to talk more crap and listen to more stories lol

then took bus with janice and jolene to go home
(shalt elaborate much)

OG 28 <3 <3

5. SUBJECT COMBI

PCME
(Physics, Chemistry, Mathematics, Economics)

not going to change it or think about it anymore

I HATE MEMORISING STUFF
that's why bio is out
i barely survived 2 years of bio
but Mrs Goh is still the best bio + kind teacher!!

i was just wondering why SO MANY girls taking bio
i get the point that physics if u cant get it u die but...
JC bio cant finish memorising = instant death what
or else memorise until hair turn white
also not good what .__.

but well... whatever

6. CCA in JC

FREAKING NO IDEA.
omg that's why UG in high school sucks cos JC DUNNO TAKE WHAT
SPORT CLUB SPORT CLUB SPORT CLUB SPORT CLUB SPORT CLUB SPORT CLUB OR COUNCIL

i just hope i will have some ideas after CCA exhibition
I HOPE

yes i think i wrote quite a bit
i shall stop here bah but...
Don't stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, imma fight
Till we see the sunlight
Tick tock, on the clock
But the party don't stop, no
Woah-oh oh oh
Woah-oh oh oh

OG 28 <3

paiseh

2009-12-18T22:59:00.000+08:00

eh

paiseh hor readers

this few days after the trip no mood to blog

maybe i will blog tmr

or the day after

or the day after

or the day after

...

just wait and see! (pun unintended)

Oh ya

2009-12-10T22:19:00.003+08:00

Oh ya.

To add on, the trip starts tmr and I have to wake up at 4am tmr

lol like sometimes i sleep at 4am alr

omg

i think i dont need to sleep liao

so i dont to wake up in the sleepy mode tsk tsk

sayonara

2009-12-10T21:15:00.002+08:00

Bai-bai to Singapore and this comp and this blog for FOUR days

because I am going to a trip to Hong Kong lalala...

(Damn it, why only four D:<)

this undescribable feeling

2009-12-05T22:53:00.001+08:00

This feeling...

is so weird...

Why...?

FINALLY

2009-11-25T15:40:00.001+08:00

FINALLY

AFTER 2~3 FULL DAYS OF TRYING TO FIND THE PROBLEM WITH MY COMP

I FINALLY FOUND IT

FINALLY MY COMP HAS BEEN FORMATTED

THANKS

(I was so engrossed in finding the problem that I actually did NOT bathe yesterday... oops.)

IQ BS

2009-11-13T18:09:00.002+08:00

A few moments ago I suddenly remembered

a few months ago

the papers said

"Men who fall in love have lower IQ" (something like that)

by some researchers using statistics

Damn bullshit lah

they say what they will follow orders w/o thinking more

but afterall they are sacrificing themselves for their love what

Really bullshit

i mean like for example

some researcher or scientist sacrificed himself for mankind

in that case that person must be really really really dumb

What bullshit man.

but then

2009-11-11T21:20:00.002+08:00

higher chinese is over already

yay

but then more importantly,

SOMEONE IS STALKING THIS BLOG

oi

i mean if u come here then tag lah

dont like make this blog seem like no one come when all of you all are hiding in the dark

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE

Thanks in advance.

20-13-18

2009-11-09T22:53:00.001+08:00

It's finally going to be tomorrow.

After that,

I gonna

..

slacked

2009-11-07T11:56:00.002+08:00

i slacked way too much in the past few weeks

argh

"must buck up liao"

CHINESE CHINESE CHINESE

Damn

2009-11-02T21:43:00.000+08:00

I really want to watch anime w/o the need of subs

dang it

Grateful.

2009-10-30T23:05:00.003+08:00

starting this post on 11:11:11pm today

hi

long time since i last posted

thanks to exams and exams and exams

now it's all over (besides chinese sian)

WOOT!

but anyway
i really think i am very grateful
maybe to god, friends, family or maybe even myself
yes and i really want to thank some of my friends and myself
for helping me to endure thru this exams
and get a msg that i tot i would never get

but afterall i cant say i too happy nor satisfied though
this year is the most fulfilling year
yet the most slack year
damn it
i could have scored better

but whatever it is now i got more impt things to think about

and next year just GANBATTE LOR =)

jap ftw (:

what can i say

2009-09-30T22:34:00.003+08:00

what an usual blogging time

10.35pm

tmr is the start

and i haven't started damn

HOW/WHAT TO STUDY FOR ENGLISH?

i have no idea

please

i need and want at least an A2

please

I just need some luck and skill.

(let's see if I can sleep by 12.30am, wanna bet?)

.

2009-09-30T00:15:00.002+08:00

feels accomplished today

frankly speaking

2009-09-22T23:38:00.001+08:00

met my mentor today

i frankly said i really missed many opportunities in high sch in the past few years

maybe for overseas trips and other stuff

really

now a bit regret lor

....

oh no

2009-09-21T20:43:00.000+08:00

8.45pm

crap today is monday already

i still havent done physics chem or chinese ace

but

the worst thing is

LOKE SAID SHE IS NOT ACCEPTING ANY MORE ENGLISH ACE
(nooooo!)

5 less ace = 1 grade

omg

this is omg omg

but the worst thing is

paul ho is daoing all my ih ace

shit

i realise i will get a Double C6 + B4 + A2 = >2.5

omg i am going to fail sec 4

sunday

2009-09-20T13:28:00.002+08:00

1.28pm

woke up @ 12.40pm

...

I wasted yesterday again.

Damn this.

I dont know how to convince myself to work anymore.
Everything failed.

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.

now

2009-09-19T13:45:00.002+08:00

it is 1.45pm today

i told myself to wake up at 8am today and even set the alarm clock for it
too bad it didnt work =(

slacked from the time i woke up to now

hope i can be determined to be determined (lol?) to finish at least ih ace for today

Please.., help me.

Screwed up.

2009-09-19T01:12:00.005+08:00

After the previous post of some random thinking, this is post shall be more about the real world.

I am..

Screwed up.

Word.

I seriously dont know what happened to me.
Not studying for test
Slacking
Sleeping (or in fact NOT sleeping)
Playing
Doing stuff that is not urgent or important
And many other bad stuff

I only can do work when it is really near the deadline or the deadline has passed.
I hate myself for being such a person.
WHY?
Why cant I be like someone who can finish the hw due next week ytd?

I once thought this problem can be solved by planning so I planned alot.
I plan what I am going to do tmr, when I am doing it, what do I have to finish.
In the end, nothing gets done.
I am still at the same point as the day before, just that I wasted a day.

Even if the hw or stuff is due tmr, I can actually wait till tmr before I actually start work.
This is partially why I don't get enough sleep.

When other ppl see me online in msn or facebook asking me why I am online when it is like 2~3am, I say becos I am doing hw.
They think that I am so hardworking which ISNT, which sometimes gets very frustrating when they keep saying that I am this type of person when I am totally not.

Flashback

I still remember when I am in primary school, everyday is so carefree.
No worries, nothing.
The only regret (not sure whether it still is) is that I didn't have a good comp until pri 6 so I didn't really know how should I spend the time.

Sec1
Still so innocent.
I rmb the first time I went into hci and I knew no one and where I should go.
And I was damn scared.
Assemblies mostly I dao, becos most of the opportunities go to non-sec 1s and I knew that.
I didn't plan my eoy grade at all, end up getting a stupid 2

Sec2
Was much better than sec 1.
Still didn't really care about overseas trips and other stuff.
Academic wise I was much better, only to know that everyone else was much better too.
Planned for eoy grade and got a 1.57 which at that time got real happy until I realise I couldn't get into CSE because of that stupid 0.07

Sec3
Worked extra hard for results
EP3 = super duper tiring
No time to think about overseas trips and other opportunities (or at least I thought so)
1.8888 for eoy
Was really, really happy
Went into CSE SMTP

Sec4
Became a NCO.
The feeling of being a NCO is really undescribable. But with Exco and BSC and stuff, I truly admit there is seriously no time for anything else.
I promised myself I will work hard for cca and catch up in academics after all these are done.
True enough, I am satisfied with my EP3 (Thank you NPCC)
but suddenly when I met my mentor I realise my studies deproved way too badly.

A first-time 3.something in the 1st term STUNNED me.
Moreover it was a 3.8.
I felt.. totally shocked at that point of time. I didn't know what to think and say and react.

That was the point of time which I thought EP3 commitments were too great and start to hate (or not like) NP for the amount of commitments I need to have.

Term 2
2. something
I am still very not satisifed but still, it was an improvement.
BUT
most of my ACE is ZERO.
which is suddenly damn scary when my mentor talked to me about it.
I know I really didn't have the time, but that was really screwed up.
"You are like what Dr Hon says, cannot be independent one", she said.

I didn't know what to say or react, felt equally stunned as before.

Then comes Pday, breezed through prelims.
When my whole group thought everything was okay, WE ACTUALLY FAILED SEMIS.
I am so angry when I think of this.
The amount of effort we put in is so much, there is no reason for us to fail.
On that day the judges were like nodding their heads and Q&A was easy.
I JUST CANT BELIEVE THEY FAILED US.
and they didn't say any reason at all.

So of cos our group appealed.
Our mentor also thinks there is no reason why we should fail so she appealed for us.
Days and weeks passed by.
I asked my mentor hows the appeal.
She said it got rejected.
I asked why.
She said they nvr say.
I don't know what to say already.

I was depending all my hopes on that project, and now that I failed it, means I never get an A before.
The stupid changing of ace system makes me get only 4 ACE for bio,
EVEN THOUGH I PUT SO MUCH EFFORT FOR ONE YEAR SINCE LAST YEAR ALREADY.

I seriously cant believe why life can be so unfair to a point that my whole life is going to be screwed (even though I have put in so much effort)
They keep saying just be hard-working and put in alot of effort and you will see your results but I DON'T SEE MINE.

Frankly speaking, at THIS point of time,

I still have a total of 24 ACE havent max yet.

This is crazy.

I calculated.

If I don't max it,

my eoy msg will be around 3. something.

which is >2.5.

which means,

my whole life is screwed up.

I just can't believe that this is happening to me.
Can anyone please care to explain why?

(Stopped at 1.55am)

ISFJ,

2009-09-19T00:43:00.004+08:00

Research has found that the Big Five personality traits are significantly related to Jungian Typology (e.g. the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator). This is a popular alternative personality framework regularly used for personal development, in which Types are used rather than Traits. Based on your Big Five trait scores, your estimated Type is shown below.

ISFJ
Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging

ISFJs are characterized above all by their desire to serve others, their 'need to be needed.' In extreme cases, this need is so strong that standard give-and-take relationships are deeply unsatisfying to them. ISFJs are interested in maintaining order and harmony in every aspect of their lives. They are steadfast and meticulous in handling their responsibilities. Although quiet, they are people-oriented and very observant. Not only do they remember details about others, but they observe and respect others' feelings. Friends and family are likely to describe them as thoughtful and trustworthy.

As usual, it is past midnight, but today or in fact this past few weeks, was/were totally different.

ISFJ. I see.

"characterized above all by their desire to serve others, their 'need to be needed.' "
I admit I am NOT so extreme. I am not so ideal.
I still believe we should still give and take in any relationship, you may give more, but you can't take more.

"interested in maintaining order and harmony in every aspect of their lives"
Yes, definitely.
I believe that I should make friends with everyone, even if I don't like that person, at least I make sure there is no conflict.
But sometimes I really critisise myself that I am being too diplomatic, becoming too non-aligned, just like Singapore.
Being so, I normally don't take sides, and frequently it becomes very frustrating when I am "peer-pressured" to take sides and end up offending both sides.
But in any case, I feel that this IS the way that I am going to do it and I do see many pros in it.

"They are steadfast and meticulous in handling their responsibilities. Although quiet, they are people-oriented and very observant. Not only do they remember details about others, but they observe and respect others' feelings."
I would say I am such a person. I don't really know why, but when people around me do something, even if I don't know them, I take note of what they do and think about why they do it.
In public transport, the first thing I observe is EVERYONE in the bus or MRT. (unless it is way too crowded) I see their faces and everything before I am back in my thoughts.

I do respect other's feelings, always. I believe in different perspectives and different feelings felt/actions taken to any situtation.
I always respect, until I receive no respect.
I tend to hate people who don't give me back the respect I gave them, this is when the "dioplomatic rule" of mine breaks down.
"Why should I respect him/her when he/she don't?"

"Friends and family are likely to describe them as thoughtful and trustworthy."
I am not very sure what friends describe me as.
(When you think too much about what the people do and why they do so and all these, you will then realise you can't judge yourself at all)
Wrt family, I really, really don't know what to say.
It is a long story, a on-going 16 years story.
I posted a such post before, but I think I deleted it because I don't want to remind myself of this.
In any case, I do hope my friends consider me as trustworthy and thoughtful. (whether I am that is a totally different issue, for I myself don't even know although I usually try to.)

unbelievable

2009-08-12T22:07:00.001+08:00

I can't believe this is happening at all.

HOW AM I GOING TO SURVIVE.

Someone help me.

hi

2009-07-02T13:54:00.002+08:00

hi

4days has past since the start of e-learning
no mood to talk about this (not that i hate it but i actually love it)

Clarification: There IS holiday extension afterall. (If you consider this as)

Well in any case, I am very glad

that I am doing work.

Yes, very glad and happy.

So long as I do work, I wun stop.

(I hope.)

sian

2009-06-24T21:52:00.002+08:00

ok hi

feeling quite sian now
nvm

anyway
today is the best achievement day in the holidays so far!
I actually managed to finish a book! (The curious incident)

The book is super nice!

A log of a conversation (with time) will show everything:

6/24/2009 11:45:55 AM SGC: hi
6/24/2009 11:46:02 AM SGC : how's ur bk circle coming along?
6/24/2009 11:46:02 AM SGC: fine?
6/24/2009 11:47:12 AM ME: well
6/24/2009 11:47:16 AM ME: i mean
6/24/2009 11:47:29 AM ME: i read from 12-2.30am (today)
6/24/2009 11:47:37 AM SGC: i know =.='
6/24/2009 11:47:39 AM ME: then woke up at around 10+
6/24/2009 11:47:44 AM SGC: Wow, u slpt later than me..
6/24/2009 11:47:45 AM ME:。 then still reading
6/24/2009 11:47:49 AM ME: now
6/24/2009 11:47:51 AM SGC: LOLS, which pg?
6/24/2009 11:47:54 AM ME: about to finish
6/24/2009 11:47:58 AM SGC: JY!
6/24/2009 11:47:59 AM ME: 241
6/24/2009 11:48:06 AM SGC: jyjy XD
6/24/2009 11:48:11 AM ME: (:
6/24/2009 11:48:21 AM ME: so dont disturb me for a few minutes
6/24/2009 11:48:23 AM ME: thanks
6/24/2009 11:48:26 AM SGC: ok
6/24/2009 12:21:07 PM ME: omg
6/24/2009 12:21:10 PM ME: i finished the book
6/24/2009 12:23:31 PM ME: omg
6/24/2009 12:23:33 PM ME: now i damn tired
6/24/2009 12:23:37 PM ME: i want to sleep
6/24/2009 12:25:56 PM SGC: LOLS
6/24/2009 12:26:00 PM SGC: Slp for the next 1h30mins?
6/24/2009 12:26:45 PM SGC: U slpt for how long ysstd?
6/24/2009 12:26:50 PM ME: 2am - 10am?
6/24/2009 12:26:52 PM SGC: That's 8 hrs...
6/24/2009 12:27:08 PM ME: no
6/24/2009 12:27:32 PM SGC: Then?
6/24/2009 12:27:34 PM ME: i was on my bed at around 2.30am
6/24/2009 12:27:42 PM ME: means probably i slept at 3
6/24/2009 12:27:44 PM ME: then
6/24/2009 12:27:47 PM ME: at 7
6/24/2009 12:27:47 PM SGC: lols, ok............ on school days, it'd enuff?
6/24/2009 12:27:55 PM SGC: A perfect combination. WTH
6/24/2009 12:27:57 PM SGC: A perfect combination. 7?!
6/24/2009 12:27:58 PM SGC: =.='
6/24/2009 12:27:59 PM ME: i got woke up by a call
6/24/2009 12:28:04 PM SGC: From??
6/24/2009 12:28:07 PM ME: mother
6/24/2009 12:28:10 PM SGC: LOLS!
6/24/2009 12:28:11 PM ME: cos raining
6/24/2009 12:28:22 PM ME: have to keep the clothes in
6/24/2009 12:28:23 PM SGC: LOLOLOLOLOLOL!
6/24/2009 12:28:31 PM SGC: Nvm lahs, at most u wake up, then ur hse flooding nia
6/24/2009 12:28:34 PM SGC: LOLS
6/24/2009 12:28:43 PM ME: then i realise my alarm clock that was set at 8 is useless
6/24/2009 12:28:47 PM ME: then off it
6/24/2009 12:28:51 PM ME: then on the comp
6/24/2009 12:29:01 PM ME: then cont read the bk
6/24/2009 12:29:09 PM ME: then couldn't concentrate
6/24/2009 12:29:15 PM ME: keep feel like slping
6/24/2009 12:29:18 PM ME: then
6/24/2009 12:29:21 PM ME: at around 8
6/24/2009 12:29:25 PM ME: too tired
6/24/2009 12:29:31 PM ME: sleep until 10
6/24/2009 12:29:38 PM ME: then woke up
6/24/2009 12:29:41 PM ME: then cant sleep liao
6/24/2009 12:29:47 PM ME: then finished the bk
6/24/2009 12:30:07 PM ME: 6 hrs of slp in holidays is damn little
6/24/2009 12:30:17 PM SGC: lols, true
6/24/2009 12:30:25 PM SGC: But 6hrs in school days is like luxurious? XD
6/24/2009 12:30:30 PM ME: but my best achievement so far in holidats (:
6/24/2009 12:30:38 PM ME: holidays*

The book circle is just one and a half hour later... sshhhhh...

Sad thing is:

That's what I have accomplished so far ONLY.

And
the worse thing is, (sorry for the over-used phrase)

exco meeting tmr
=
need wear full u

and i haven't done anything about it yet

besides, there's still a big pile of hw on my table (not touched)
and the semis in 2 weeks (AHHHHHHHH)

AND NO HOLIDAY EXTENSION (damn it)

Now you know why I am feeling sian now.

damn full

2009-06-23T20:00:00.002+08:00

Hooray!
Had a super huge meal/buffet today at Seoul Garden today afternoon

Realised buffet-styled student meal owns (in the cheap-ness)
$14.10 to eat for 3 hrs straight!

Eat until no need to eat dinner :D

Damn cool, next time u should try too! (:

On another (bad) note, I realised I am really dying.
Cos I have only finished 1% (Yes, just ONE percent) of my hw
and

NO HOLIDAY EXTENSION

Here goes my Sec 4 life.

music

2009-06-21T14:49:00.002+08:00

There are really many songs that I like.
And the songs can be very random.
That's probably why you all cannot really know which type of music I like.

In any case, I still hate very hard metal or similar songs.
I mean, what's the point of a song when you hardly hear the person singing?

I generally like slow songs, moderately fast songs and fast songs. (well i think that's almost everything, that's why I told you it's very random)

But songs that I like best(or better cos I don't really know how too compare) would be songs that has a very strong beat.

Maybe many of us also like the same type of songs as me. (not sure)

But whatever it is, got one song too nice already.

What I hate is that the intro is like 2min long... =.=""

Personality test.

2009-06-18T20:20:00.001+08:00

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

True?
Perhaps.

nice

2009-06-17T14:38:00.002+08:00

it's 2.38pm now
and..

I just woke up. (got the link?)

haven't eat breakfast nor lunch

well... who cares

just went to check my facebook

then i realise...

looking at the people (friends and families) 's opinions of me is so nice

Spam

2009-06-17T01:36:00.012+08:00

Hi everyone,

this time between this post and the previous is long
i know, i know

and the worse thing thing is now its already 1+ (almost 2, by the time i finish this post i would have most probably past 2) but i still in fact, not sleepy
omg

this is very very bad and i seriously think i got DSPS (Delayed sleep-phase syndrome)

Here's what wiki says:

"Delayed sleep-phase syndrome (DSPS), also known as delayed sleep-phase disorder (DSPD) or delayed sleep-phase type (DSPT), is a circadian rhythm sleep disorder, a chronic disorder of the timing of sleep, peak period of alertness, core body temperature, hormonal and other daily rhythms relative to societal norms. People with DSPS tend to fall asleep some hours after midnight and have difficulty waking up in the morning.

Often, people with the disorder report that they cannot sleep until early morning, but they fall asleep at about the same time every "night", no matter what time they go to bed. Unless they have another sleep disorder such as sleep apnea in addition to DSPS, patients can sleep well and have a normal need for sleep. Therefore, they find it very difficult to wake up in time for a typical school or work day. If, however, they are allowed to follow their own schedule, e.g. sleeping from 4 a.m. to noon, they sleep soundly, awaken spontaneously, and do not feel sleepy again until their next "night".

The syndrome usually develops in early childhood or adolescence,[1] and sometimes disappears in adolescence or early adulthood. It can be to a greater or lesser degree treatable depending on the severity, but has not yet been found to be fully curable. Prevalence among adults, equally distributed among women and men, is approximately 0.15% or three in 2000 (see below)."

Basically, one don't feel sleepy until like 2+ or later and will sleep until like 12pm or later
but that's not the main problem

the problem is
I HAVE THAT PROBLEM

now i dont feel sleepy at all even though its past 1am and i cant wake up until its like 1pm
which is damn crazy

in the past (at least just 1 year ago) the latest i sleep is like 12am and in the holis i will wake up like at 11am

i wonder how long this will last man

My bio clock is damn screwed already.

Move on.

When you are talking about blogs (i know this topic is totally no link), posts can be very varied.

It could be philosophical, descriptive, full of pictures, a fan site, about own feelings or about events etc.

And it could be very random. (Like this.)

I post whatever I think of at that moment.
That's why it's hard for me to be motivated to blog because
usually when I thought of something interesting to blog, I forget everything (or the essence of it) when I reached the blogger posting site.

Perhaps this symbolically shows how life is so random and you may just forget some important things yet so easily.

Talking about symbols, it is super interesting.
By comparing one event to another, by looking out of the box at the bigger picture, by zooming into the minor yet important details, one can get a very different yet equally useful views.

(my mind is quite blank about symbols now so too bad)

Next thing, talking about my personality. (Perhaps the best thing to talk about now)

Before I touch on that I would like to say that I can and have change(d)/improve(d) though insults.
I absorb those nasty insults into my body, trying not to make the situation more serious (at the same time can prevent the insults from getting even worse).
Occasionally, I still vent the anger, but they normally don't really care. They knew I accepted their insults.
And still, I know, in my heart, the insults were true, even though the cause may not (and usually not) from me.
I try to change, usually failing and making things worse. The insults become even more out of control. But I know, I have to persevere because..

that's the only thing I could do.
From my experience, it could take probably 2 years or more to make a significant change/improvement. However, the level of insults could have already reached a point of no return.
They know the insults are getting less true but nevertheless they continue, because the fact that it happened and that either the change is too minor or they simply dao-ed it.
Sometimes, the worse part is when they inject sarcasm and link those insults to my daily life.
And the problem comes worse, when I need their help.
Sometimes I wonder, are they my friends? What exactly are friends?
The worse (yet again) thing is that before you know it, the insults start to spread among humans like viruses spreading in an epidermic. (omg, now this phrase is nice :D )

Ok.
After so long I haven't talked about my personality. (or maybe the above counts)
In any case, I have to (note that it is not I want to) sleep soon because my logical mind is screaming at me to go to sleep.

Okay, so I am not going to say too much now,
but sometimes I seriously wonder
"Who knows me the best?".
And whether that person really knows me well. (Best =/= know me well)

Thinking about family as an answer to that question is definitely a no-no.
True that they know me for about 16 years (13 years for my sis), but as a matter of fact, they don't know me well. (Which is one of the saddest thing in my mind and life)

What about friends?
Just when I thought that person really know me well, (perhaps judging by his/her words or actions) that person disappoint me yet again.
Making me damn confused.
Leading me into a conclusion that none of my friends really know me well. (They do know me alot though, I appreciate it)

(Of course, I have super close friends who do not necessarily need to know me well :p )

This is also probably the reason why I would like to tell everyone what's my personality BUT YET at the same time do not want to. (which is making my mind very screwed)

After such a long blog post (consisting of many random rubbish), I applaud you for making this far.
(Unless you skipped like dunno how much)

I would like to talk about double/split personality too, but you know, the mind is screaming at me to sleep even when I am writing this sentence.

So if you look back at the things I have written, you may think it is really random and written purely as the mind is thinking.

But if you look carefully,

everything is linked.
(both inter- and outer- linked)

2009-05-27T23:38:00.002+08:00

I hate marks, scores, systems, tests, exams.

Screw all of these.

Damn it.

2009-05-26T17:47:00.003+08:00

Together with you...

There's no time for standing around.

I don't have the leisure for thinking things through.

I've got all my feelings crammed in my chest.

I'm going into that scorching battle.

It's such a huge wall of power, a huge darkness in the world.

But I'll never give up! I'll surpass all my limits!

Right now there might be a lot of things I don't understand

but I'm just going to keep following this path I believe in.

Any kind of friend or enemy is just fine with me.

I'll never let go of this hand.

A blood-red oath.

Forever, forever, keep chasing after...

(To the ends of the earth, to the ends of the earth,) the courage for tomorrow.

(To the ends of the earth, to the ends of the earth,) this blazing heart,

together with you...

Unbelievable

2009-05-24T18:10:00.002+08:00

I cannot believe I officially started mugging for IHE only TODAY.

Damn it damn it.

Hope nothing goes wrong. *cross fingers*